I wrote all of this stuff during the summer and I was too scared to show anyone other than a few close friends. What do I have to be afraid of? It's all opinion anyway.
I hope it's something.
when we live in a world when people kill strangers to prove that they are more powerful and their country is superior, there's no such thing as waking up on the wrong side of the bed because one side brings starving babies and people dying from diseases they don't understand, and the other is a bet between six teenage girls for who can have a baby first.
and the changes that are happening can't be fixed. this is a forever kind of hell, and it's my future, my hell.
everyone around me is dying, this planet is dying. is life here so bad that we have to search for it on other planets? it must be. there's nothing but more poison there. maybe there was civilization there at one time but they died out like we are - slowly. we'll never know. and if we did it's not like that would stop us.
an unstoppable generation. we know that's what we are, but the choices are endless to make change happen now.
you're letting me down. you're a let down.
people keep dying. people who could have made an impact. but maybe not. maybe they'd of just turned into the next degenerate who just sits and stares, who walks on the side of the highway carrying a beatup backpack waiting for a ride that will never come. maybe he's the happiest person in the world.
"i go to the trouble to learn your language, you should learn mine." shut up. no i shouldn't, because you're disrespectful and unworthy of my time and effort. and guess what? je parle francais!
'all i can do is love you to pieces' 'we are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.' nothing is forever and everything is constant and i know where up and down are but i don't know where i am. i know where you are.
there's so many sad souls. i see old people mowing their lawns and i wonder what they're thinking. do they ever have fun? i guess i can't say what is fun or not. when people have their living room curtains open, i have to look in because it's like seeing into their souls and seeing what their lives are really life because they don't know i'm looking. i wonder what people would think if they saw into mine.
i don't believe in god. it's not because i want to be different or make people angry with me, i just have no reason to believe there is a god because of the way things are in my life and the lives of others. the christian god is a jealous and spiteful god. it's not right to make people suffer the way they are. sure it makes people like me appreciate what i have, but what does it make those who are suffering feel? why would i want to believe in something so terrible? i've got better things to be depressed about than some all-powerful being using people as puppets. and if there is a devil, and god is all powerful, why can't he just get rid of him? nothing about it makes sense.
sometimes i get really worked up when a song ends or i read the last page of a good book. i just want things to keep going and not end. but i guess the point of things ending is to let me make up the real end of those things. sometimes it's easier to let other people figure out the end.
it's time to move on and grow up. and it's scary as hell. the real world. that's what everyone keeps calling it. there's only one world - sometimes you just get different perspectives. there are things i can't wait to leave behind - arguing, insanity (although i imagine i will still have to deal with that, just in a different sense), rules... but other things i don't want to think about leaving.
i think you know you love someone when you kiss them and it feels right. you melt into them and they melt into you and you're not just two people anymore. i wish i knew when it was time to say 'i love you'. i think it should be said when you feel it, and i feel it. there's not a schedule. it's spontaneous. it's that feeling when you get the tingles when you touch and you want to be with them all the time. and you can fall asleep together. =)
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